Holiday Knitting (And Other Perils)

As a maker of things (and, especially, as a knitter) the holidays hold a special kind of foreboding and panic.

For anyone who has decided to make gifts for their loved ones and relations, the feeling of high-strung anxiety is nothing new. Whether these feelings manifest as the 2:00 am realization that 'holy God, I don't have enough yarn for this' or in looking down at the thoroughly crooked stitch you've just sewn and wondering, tears in your eyes, if anyone will notice; the sensation of holiday-related gift angst is a universal one for anyone who has ever undertaken the project.

Now, if one has one's wits about them, gift-giving can be planned for and scheduled far in advance. But many of us know that this rarely comes to pass. It seems that, for me, approximately every other year I am capable of doing my Christmas knitting in summer, starting in July.

There is, however, something disheartening about making something so lovely and festive and then having to hold onto it for months, squirreled away at the bottom of a cedar chest or tucked into some closet. This year was one of those years that left me with a kind of malaise symptomatic of too much planning and follow-through. Yes, this year I finished my gift knitting by October. Granted, I have a small list of people to which I give handknit gifts for reasons of deemed 'knitworthiness' as well as simple economy. Even with my aforementioned dull-as-paste day job, my funds are not unlimited. Nevertheless, I am left with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction.

I have tried to assuage the doldrums that have set in this December. You see, I'm knitting a stocking for my boyfriend in an absolute riot of colors with Doctor Who, Lovecraft, and other nerdy motifs all represented. I simply can't abide another year of my dearest lacking in as basic an amenity as a handknit stocking. It's actually somewhat disgraceful that I've allowed it to go on for as long as I have. Plus, it's a good way to use up the almost embarrassing amount of mostals I have at the bottom of my stash.

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have opted for so much duplicate stitch...

So I'm left thinking if I would feel, perhaps, more in the frenetic spirit of Christmas if I'd waited until the last minute to make those gifts I deigned to give. Last year saw me making three exceptionally large projects on commission that were all completed by Thanksgiving, necessitating a rabid, hurried dash to the finish for all of the hand-made gifts I'd assigned to myself. Oh, and Christmas cards were sent, too. I am nothing if not an over-achiever.

This year, has been a struggle to inject myself with quite enough tinsel-shiny cheer to jolt the realization that it's a week until Christmas. Yes, the tree is decorated, gifts have been wrapped-- a few gifts have even been given! Despite this, it all seems yet still more artificial than my plastic, pre-lit tree.

I can't believe I'm actually committing this to anywhere but the hazy space of my mind but next year I think I'll try much harder not to be so damnably organized. Last minute gifts, despite all the cursing the skies are just so much more satisfying.